Lust

Lust sucks.
Not that I object
To a little noncommital
Sucking of face.
But after?
We walk away
And lead our seperate
Lives.
And I'm mad.
You don't like me.
So why do I give
Myself?

Boys, Boys, Boys

One wants nothing to do with me.
One wants me... Just want. As in lust.
One wants to marry me.
One wants to be with me.
And one just wants to call me.

Where did all these guys come from? When will they stop confusing me? When will I stop letting them?

Virgin

Innocent
Power trip.
Pent up sexuality.
C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N.
I'm a good girl
I am.
But I want to
Know someone
So completely.
To be a part
Of a puzzle.
Interlocking.
Intertwined.
But God is watching.
So I don't give
In completely.
Keep the clothes
On.
There's the line.
All this heat
Remains inside.
No release to be found
Because that is
Definately sin.
And this?
Not so bad.
It's probably still wrong.
But this is my struggle
Just as you have yours.
But if mine makes me a
Whore.
Makes you hate me,
Then, love, I am sorry.

Big Pimpin

See this is why I don't sleep around.

Pining for someone's touch as soon as they leave?

No thanks.

I never realized it, but I am quite the little temptress.

All night long, cuddled up with him.

A falsely innocent expression on my face.

A cute little arm stretched across his leg,

A little too close to where it shouldn't be.

But I couldn't possibly know what I'm doing.

All the while he was being the perfect asshole.

But one I could deal with.; one he didn't mean to be.

Texting his girlfriend,

Mouthing surely inappropriate things to his boy

To keep me in check with reality.

This was no fairy tale.

But he was so unsure of himself at the same time.

Shy glances.

Awkward statements.

Audible heart beat.

Deep breaths

As he struggled to keep composure.

I made him wait  until the last possible moment.

Til we both tasted like cake and I felt like I'd teased enough.

I let him claim me, but wanting more.

Needing more.

"I have to see you soon. I can't wait so long this time."

I can't either.

(Of course he'll never know.)

That I already miss his lips suckling mine.

Slightly chapped and ever so male.

His hands creeping into my shirt, on my ass.

Seeing how far I'd let him go. 

I had all the power. I coulda said no.

Of course I didn't.

I slowly invited him.

Tilting my head, my dainty little fingers kneeding his solid biceps.

Pressing oh so closer until only thin costumes hindered us.

And I wanted that layer thinned

Even more.

I lifted my leg, a silent statement.

Urging him closer,

Begging for his pelvis

To struggle against mine.

He sated my innocent demand.

Teach me.

He will.

That goodbye hug.

So sweet.

I thought I could 

Nuzzle his neck

For forever.

I sniffed

Trying to memorize his sent.

"Awwe, BooBoo

Are you crying?"

No.

I sorta wanted to.

I know I'm messing with fire.

Playing and getting played

Simultaneously.

But I like this game.

Stop Tryna Play Me

You, my dear, are a lot of things, but you're not dumb. You sit around here and expect me to believe that you love me. You play the victim when I'm the one all bloody from battle. You think saying you screwed up means something? It doesn't. Because you refuse to change. I see you, and I want to die. I wonder what I could've possibly done to make you this way. But this was not my doing. And so, I can no longer do it. I cannot supply you with the hammer you need to shatter my world once again. I love you, bitch... Yeah, I know that one was my b.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

I love you.
I really do.
But I can't.
I couldn't.
So I did it.
And now I feel empty.

Don't Worry

I'm okay.
I'll be good.
I promise.