My dear blog... I wish I'd read some of my past posts before I broke up with my boyfriend last week. Especially the one about self-sabotage. The night I sent that breakup email (yes I know I'm horrible for EMAILING it), I was emotional and confused and I thought I had a valid reason for breaking things off. But now I'm even more confused. Today my boyfriend... or I guess he's my ex now... asked me why I did it. He asked me to explain to him why I decided to breakup with someone who I love so much. I tried to answer, but I don't even know myself. At the time I had it all mapped out but now I am as confused as ever.
And gosh, he's being so damned nice. If he was being rotten to me, I wouldn't complain. I friggin deserved it. But he is just as amazing as when we were dating. I've been praying that we can be friends, but I don't know if either of us is ready for that. I don't know if I can look at him and not be madly in love.
