Giving Up the Ghost

One of my favorite quotes is this one said by Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl : "There's no shame in giving up if the prize isn't worth it." Similarly, in her novel The Other Boleyn Girl, Philippa Gregory says, ". . . no shame in surrender when you are completely and utterly defeated." So although we all like to win, I feel as though there is one thing that it's okay for me to lose: my self. My inhibitions. And all the little voices in my head that tell me to be something or someone whom I am not.

For an over-extended period of time my main goal in life was being perfect. I had this strict, rigid, cookie-cutter idea of beauty that, in honesty, no one measured up to. Even now, when I look in the mirror, sometimes all I can see is a girl who needs to be changed, molded, and worked like clay into something this side of spectacular. I've always felt that I needed to be normal in order to fit society's standards. But the other day I came along a quote by the singer, Fergie. ( I must warn you that I am a 'quote person.) Anyway Fergie said this: ". . . when you people-please, you please everyone but yourself. YOu dig yourself into a little cave. The only way out of that cave is to express yourself."

I have decided that it is time for me to find my way out of this cave. I want to change whhat I see in the mirror, not by altering myself, but by modifying the way I veiw myself. I am facing reality. I am not a supermodel. I am not an angel. I am not the world's opinion of me. I am myself. I will be myself. After all, I'm just a girl.