No More Sabotage

Sometimes we feel the need to fix things that aren't really broken. It's like when things are good we subconciously mess them up because we feel that it's too good to be true. Jane Austen says, " Nobody minds having what is too good for them." But on the contrary, I feel as though whenever life is seemingly perfect, I create a problem. Like when a relationship is going well. . . That's when you begin to question it. It's like when you buy a pair of jeans a size smaller than you usually do. When they fit, don't you just chalk it up to the possibility that it was mis-tagged. Or the excuse that European clothing is different? You think, I couldn't possibly have lost weight. Maybe your brain does not opperate this way but mine, on the other hand, does.

I live in constant battle with myself. The constant need for self-inflicted emotionally pain is one that appals me. Yet I always give into it. So I'm doing a 5-day 'My Life Is Perfect the Way It Is' wellness fast. It's not so much about the fasting as it is about the conditioning. So while I am not abstaining from the consumption of food, you may. But I am going to abstain from eating meat. I love meat. So I'm hoping that everytime I feel the need to eat some chicken I'll think, I will have some chicken when I realize that self-torture is not solving any purpose. If my body realizes that the only way it's getting meat is if it begins to see it's own beauty, then I will trick my brain into giving up the bad thoughts for a nice juicy cheeseburger. I just hope it works. Feel free to join me.