I Want Chicken!

My sister and I have an agrrement. She cooks Sunday-Tuesday and I cook for the rest of the week. As I expected, whatever my sister cooks is always something that came pre-packaged and all you have to do is stick it in the oven. And although food and I are not always on speaking terms, I love to cook. So I cook the 'real food'. Anyway, remember how I'm not gonna eat meat for five days? Well yesterday I made BBQ Chicken. It smelled soooooo amazing, but I kept telling myself, remember your goal, Michka. For the rest of the night I was literally chanting to myself, "I am pretty. I will not eat that chicken. No chicken until I see my beaty." And sure enough when I looked in the mirror there was a split second where I was like, Hmmmmm not too shabby there. But eventually all the insecurities came back. I'm craving chicken, but what I crave even more is to be satisfied with myself. At the rate this is going, it looks like I'm going to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life!