So here I was feeling all horrible for breaking up with someone who was madly in love with me. Turns out I was wrong. Of coutrse I'm wrong every now and again.... Hell--I'm wrong so damn often it's become more of a state of mind. I know people won't believe me when I say this, but I have moved on. yes I hacked into his email and facebook accounts and prayed to God that he'd get hit by a truck, I am officially over it.
Maybe I wasn't over it before. Okay lemme be honest, I sure as hell was not. But that was because I felt horridly guilty. I felt as though I'd betrayed him after I made all those professions of my undying love. He kept saying that he couldn't believe I was breaking up with him. That he didn't get how I could break up with someone I loved so much. I cried repeatedly. I convinced myself that my being so broken up about it meant that I still had feelings for him. I didn't. I just felt like the biggest jerk alive.
Now I know that I don't love him anymore. But I'm mad as hell. I just can't stand being lied to. What I don't understand is why he felt he had to lie to me and pretend he was so torn. He could've said, "Oh well honestly I already moved on. We've been really distand and I kinda saw this coming." (Or something like that) I probably would've been peeved for a while, but it would have been the TRUTH. If he ever loved me at all, he would've thought enough of me not to lie, even though it was over. So thanks my love. Thanks for adding to my trust issues!
On a serious note, I still love him. I think I always will. But I'm 100% sure that it's not that type of love. I wish him all the happiness in the world, however. Despite the breakup, he's an amazing guy and he desereves to be happy. Just like I deserved the truth.
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