Merry Fucking Christmas Bitch

I'm so fucking sick of everyone acting like I'm the biggest bitch ever when really I'm not. I could just be completely deceived, but I really dont' think I am. I've heard the argument, "Don't you think if everyone else feels the same way, there's something you can do to improve?" And I guess that's a valid question. But contrary to common belief, I've thought about it, and I honestly don't believe that I should change. I honestly don't think that I'm as mean as everyone makes me out to be. Maybe it's not that I'm that mean. I mean, it could be that I'm mean, but maybe everyone needs a big fat dose of Man Up.

My whole life is a battlefield. No matter what I do, I'm wrong. Everyone says that I think I'm always right, but what else am I supposed to believe when they always think I'm wrong? I can't always be wrong, can I? Because if I'm always wrong then my existance truly is one big mistake and one of you should shoot me in the face pronto. I don't get much nicer than being quiet. It's not being mean, it's me watching my mouth and trying not to tell everyone what I think of them.

On the subject of my happiness around friends and not family... It's not that I'm always in agreement with my friends. Actually, I quite often feel like hitting them over the head with a bag of bricks. But I don't expect much from them. They're children, really (no offence to any of you that may read this.) And I tell them this. I've threathened to clone 'em and kill 'em. However I'll admit that I am more honest with them. It's because they get angry, they get over it. And I've picked friends such that when I don't talk to them their first response isn't "Good Lord there's something legit wrong with that chick." No, they ask questions. They await answers. But they don't pry. And they don't hint. And again, I don't expect much from them in the first place.

Also, I don't think I should be forced to choke up unnatural responses to people. That's called being fake. You can call me rude, mean, whatever... But one thing I'm not is fake. If I have to change the way I opperate, and therefor lie, then what good is living? I don't want my entire existance to be a lie, but i can't cry like this anymore. So I know it's sorta wrong to ask considering the tone of this post, but Lord if you're listening send down some sorta miracle. PLEASE.