Monday, February 7, 2011

Fatty McFat Face

I know what you're going to say... Michka, you are not fat.

I'm not.
Fat.

But I am. Because I think I am. What makes me fat is not how much I weigh; what makes me fat is my lack of control over what goes into my mouth. Ugh! I said it... Control. I hate that excuse for eating disorders. But it's true. I want control. And I don't have anything.

No control over what I eat.

No control over my emotions.

No control over my... physical impulses? Aye that sounds dirty :(

No control over... Anything.

But back to the main problem at hand... I can't control what I eat without opperant conditioning. Cutting basically. So I guess I'll just have to be a fatass, because I cannot go back there.

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