FAIL

The sensation that stems from being so completely bare in front of someone is one that borders on spiritual. Not magical like in the movies, but special. And real. It requires the shelving of masks and insecurities for the gain of a greater purpose. I completely underestimated the gravity of being so completely naked--physically and emotionally... Cuz when the clothes are shed, so are all the defense mechanisms. It was total bliss, until the pain. Completely unimagined: warm; soft, yet hard. (Shy giggle)

I stared at the god before me, muscles rippling, eyes hooded. Entered. Just a bit. Shit. Something's missing. He stood. I'm so easily read, my face whispered, Don't leave, to his spirit. Out loud he reassured: It's okay, we need Protection. That annoying hindering thing. Plastic barrier. Takes away some of the softness and warmth. I wanna ask him, BEG him to take it off, but I will not be a statistic. I will not get my ass kicked. I will not subject us both to screaming pooping joyous torture. And then he was back. He slowly inched inside. I closed my eyes, and tried to will the pain away. I would not ruin this. But it was too much.

Booboo, are you sure you're okay?

Mmhmm.

No, you're not. You look like you want to die.

Just... Go slower.

(He began to move again an then I really did want to die.)

Ouch! Fuck. Can you...

Stop? Of course. (Kiss.)

Sorry.

It's fine, Booboo. Are you okay?

Mmhmm.

(Kiss.) You sure?

Yes. I really am sorry.

Don't apologize. (Kiss.) I'd rather stop than hurt you. (Kiss.) What's that look for?

I really am sorry.

Stop. You okay?

Stop asking me that! I'm fine!

Sorry.

Don't apologize, you didn't do anything.

(And then I did the only logical thing to do. I snuggled up into him, hid my face in his chest.)

Are you hiding from me?

Yes.

So yah, that's how my Day Before Thanksgiving went. I suppose it wasn't a TOTAL fail. It was still fun, cute, sweet. After that we got dressed, and watched the Amanda Show with his little brother. And did A LOT of laughing and tickling and talking and HAND HOLDING! Like I said, it was cute.

But I suppose it doesn't change the fact that I'm a colossal slut-muffin. Oh well.