FML... Literally

I don't know how this always ends up happening to me. Every single time, it's the same thing. I have too much faith in people. They always screw me over and for some reason I always turn the other cheek and whisper, "Gimmie some more." Now more than ever, I am convinced that I am a masochist.

I really want to trust people. But how can I when they constantly do things that require my strict disapproval. One thing I will never get is how someone I'm so broken and open with can turn around and stab me in the back. I've gone over this mentally over and over again, and I come up with the same thing each time: nothing.

Once again I will use my past love of Tom to explain my point. One night while talking on the phone with Tommy, the issue of trust came up. He basically called me out on my bs, put it out there that I didn't trust him. My excuse was that I didn't trust anyone, and that it was nothing personal. But it was, in a way. Because I trust Abbi. What made him different? Of course there's the fact that I've known Abbi longer, and the fact that Abbi is a pole of estrogen, and he's a ball of testostrone, but in the end, I decided trust was in fact an issue. I began to work on it. I tried to trust people.

Unfortunately it didn't work out. I've come to the conclusion that almost no one is worthy of my trust. And although it is something I should give freely, it's something I can no longer take lightly. I've learned that it's okay to trust people, but I'm learning discernment. I guess all there is left to say is good-bye. Good-bye Ashleigh Morgan. I really did love you. But now you can go have fun with your ditzy replacement friend.