Ugh Again

You know what?

Fuck this.

Excuse the language. But I'm not sorry.



Because really this makes no fucking sense... That ugly idiotic chicks have boyfriends and
I DON'T.

And it's not just that I want what they have. What they have is nothing compared to him. He's as close to perfect as it gets. I know I said that about Tommy but Tommy doesn't come close, and that in itself is enough to make me fight for this. Because I thought Tommy was a slice of heaven.



Don't get me wrong, I am depressed. And broken. And abashed. But eventually when I decide to give myself a kick in the face and get out of this, he will be mine.

Maybe not today. Maybe not this year. Hell, given my track record, maybe not ever. But I'm sick of this. I'm sick of hiding shit. If I'm gonna be the emo chick I might as well do it right.


You know what. I'm gonna text him. Right now. Because I CAN'T do this. Whether he likes me or not he will know that I like him. Today. Or maybe tomorrow since he's sleeping. But I shal go before I lose my nerve.


Oh and I know have some nerve to talk about God after all the cussing I did in this post, but I'm about to go there.

Pastor Scibelli said that sometimes we have to do things and stop using not hearing from God as an excuse. So here goes relationship humiliation number 2 of late.